Over the next few weeks, I am looking at common thoughts that people with low self-esteem have, found within this Buzzfeed article, and how we can possibly address them. For the full list, click here.
It isn’t just women who suffer from low self-esteem issues. Men are expected to have high levels of confidence and ‘have everything together’ mentally, particularly when it comes to relationships. Most women would list ‘high self-confidence’ at the top of their list when it comes to what they are looking for in a partner. There is a lot of pressure on men to be self-confident, so it must be incredibly hard for men with low self-esteem.
So what can you do to increase your confidence talking to women you want to date?
- Firstly, act interested and ask questions. There are so many men who are over confident (or at least appear that way) and come across as arrogant. This can be very off-putting for women. So just focus on acting interested. If you ask questions, you don’t have to worry so much about talking about yourself and thinking what to say next. When you get a response, then this should lead you nicely into opening up about yourself.
- Concentrate on making a life that you enjoy and being happy. If you dislike yourself and your life, you cannot expect anyone to fall for you because you are setting the bar for how people perceive you. So increase your self-esteem first. How to do this? Look at my general tips page for some starter ideas, including beginning a new hobby, challenging negative thoughts and if necessary, counselling. Also, check out other self-esteem issues and how to address them, as this may help challenge other reasons for your low self-confidence.
- Make friends with women. Forget about relationships and dating for a while, and just concentrate on friendships. This means you can practise talking to women without any pressure. It becomes much easier to talk to the ones you are attracted to in this way. If you have no female friends, chat more to your mate’s girlfriend, female relatives or women at work.
- Finally, going back to the quote we are looking at…this person apparently ‘knows’ girls won’t go for someone like him. Consider your thought patterns – are they logical? What alternate perspectives are there? Cheesy as it sounds, there is someone out there for everyone. Every person is good enough and deserves a loving relationship. You just need to believe in YOU and keep faith that you will find someone as wonderful as you…