These five things are definitely ones that I find intensify low self-esteem, and that we need to avoid:
1.Shutting ourselves off from people
This is a tricky one because if we have low self-worth, we think the best action to take is to distance ourselves from others. When I don’t like myself, I always want to take myself away, where I can keep myself protected and not bother anybody else.
This is genuinely the worst thing to do! Being alone with negative self-talk will only heighten our belief that we aren’t good enough. We need to challenge the negative beliefs we have set up by allowing ourselves to connect with and be loved by others. We must reach out to others (even if it’s just one person) and let them help.
2.Avoiding whatever is scaring us
Having low self-esteem can lead you to avoid certain situations. For example, if you believe you have an unattractive body, you might avoid wearing swimwear and make sure lights are switched off during sex. I thought I was boring and uninteresting to men, and I actually went as far as to exit a room sometimes when I’d have to make conversation with a man!
The problem is that avoiding the situations reinforces the negative belief in our head. We need to be brave, face our fears and challenge our own negative belief system. You can read more about this in my post about predictions & precautions and finding alternative perspectives.
3.Comparing ourselves to others
If we are struggling to see your worth and value, the last thing we need is to look at a stream of people throughout the day who are seemingly having the best time of their life. If the first thing we do in the morning is look at Instagram and see perfect looking bodies, personalities and lives, that is not going to help us.
I recently unfollowed people on Instagram who made me feel anything negative when I looked through my feed in the morning. I tried to only keep people who made me smile with their posts, or who inspired me. I definitely already feel the benefits of this and would recommend it.
We all fall into unhealthy habits, especially when we are lacking self-love. Whether it’s smoking, binge drinking or sitting on the couch every evening, it is important to realise these habits only make thing worse.
Adopting a more healthy lifestyle can only make us feel better about ourselves. Treating our bodies and mind with kindness and health is self-love in itself. The more we do this, the more we will grow to understand that we deserve to feel happy and healthy.
Although I said the worst thing to do is to distance ourselves from people, we must make sure we spend our time with people who make us feel good about ourselves. We definitely should distance ourselves from anyone who lessens our sense of self-worth.
Surround yourself with people who have your best interests at heart and allow you to be your true self, and let go of anyone who brings you down…or at the very least reduce the time you spend with them.