Addressing common self-esteem issues: Issue #3

Over the next few weeks, I am looking at common thoughts that people with low self-esteem have, found within this Buzzfeed article, and how we can possibly address them.

buzzfeed 3

Have you ever worn a short, tight dress on a night out in the hope of getting male attention?

Have you ever carried on seeing someone just because you like the attention and it makes you feel more desired?

Does rejection from relationships make you feel like you are worth nothing?

If you answered yes to any of these, your self-esteem could be closely linked with getting attention romantically and sexually. Self-esteem built upon this basis is extremely fragile, as it can cause us to respect our bodies less, be needy in relationships and ultimately lose our sense of self-worth when we are romantically or sexually rejected.

So what can you do to stop relying on romantic and sexual attention as a self-esteem boost?

  • Take up a new hobby, or focus more on a current one. Personal achievements are a fantastic way to boost your self-esteem, as you realise your own strengths and potential. Take up a new sport, such as yoga or running (make sure it’s something you enjoy!) and then watch yourself progress and achieve. Your self-esteem will then be based on something you have done alone, and that is something nobody can damage.
  • Spend more time with friends and family. Focus on other relationships in your life which aren’t created through romance or sex. To make these relationships work, you must have more to offer than good looks or sexual appeal – remember how important these qualities are too when it comes to building successful relationships.
  • Learn to enjoy your own company. If you are not happy spending time doing your own thing, you will always rely on others to make you feel good. Try dating yourself – indulge in a pampering evening in front of the TV, take yourself out to lunch or for coffee. That way, you won’t be so bothered when nobody else is available – your own company is amazing anyway!

20-june-boost

  • Take the physical side of a relationship slow. If you normally jump into the physical side of a relationship very soon after meeting someone, it is worth slowing things right down. That way, you firstly will increase the amount of respect he/she has for you, as well as raising your own self-respect. Secondly, you will realise that people will stick around regardless because you have so much to offer from the inside, as well as the outside.
  • Have an air of mystery. Being provocative in what you wear or how you behave will gain you attention, but it won’t gain you respect. I’m not saying to stop showing off your cleavage or legs, but be classy about it rather than revealing everything. Emma Watson sums it up:

mystery-is-best

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