My story

I think it’s only right that my first post tells the story about my self-esteem so here we go…

The past few months have been full of ups and downs. I started a new job in September 2014, after spending £9,000 and studying for a year to change to my ‘dream’ career. In October, I started losing happiness rapidly due to work-related stress. I was a perfectionist giving my all, yet being told I required improvement in my line of work (some of you may guess the ‘dream’ job now!). I continued to lose interest and enjoyment in life, culminating in a diagnosis of depression and anxiety in November. I was signed off work for 6 weeks in total, put on medication and for a while, I hid from the world.

As my work was a major trigger, I resigned from my ‘dream’ career. I refused to take my medication as I was convinced it was my work (and only my work) that had led me into this emotional darkness. 2 weeks passed…surely I should feel less anxious now? Yet I was still struggling, still feeling panicked, even at the thought of seeing my closest friends. Ahh so it was more than just the job…

I had to face facts. I remembered sending an email to a therapist a year ago asking for help with low self-esteem, a long time before I had started this new job. The work had been a trigger, as being successful academically and in my career was the only value I placed upon myself. As soon as that started to disintegrate, I lost every sense of self-worth I had.

It was counselling that brought all this to light, and I would recommend therapy to anyone, as it has been my first step to my pursuit of higher self-esteem. However this blog is about life post-therapy and post-realisation. Now I want to continue my journey and inspire others who are suffering. Low self-esteem is a difficult topic to talk about with your friends and family, and it can leave you feeling alone. I hope my words reach someone and give them a boost…

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