Over the next few weeks, I am looking at common thoughts that people with low self-esteem have, found within this Buzzfeed article, and how we can possibly address them. For the full list, click here.
This is a tricky issue when you have low self-esteem and for those who love you. I remember when I opened up to someone and told them how unhappy I felt about my appearance, their automatic response was to say “you’re so pretty, beautiful, gorgeous etc etc”.
This does not help people with low self-esteem. They will just think you are saying it to make them feel better and it will have no truth to it. They need to believe it themselves before they can believe others.
So what can you say to people with low self-esteem to help?
- Ask them what you can do to help. Rather than just telling them how wonderful they are, show your love by offering your support.
- Check in on them. People with low self-esteem are far more likely to suffer from anxiety and depression. Whilst they are feeling low, send a friendly text or drop them a phone call asking if they feeling okay. Make sure they continue to socialise, as shutting themselves away will worsen self-esteem.
- Prompt them to set some goals. When you have low self-esteem, it can help to have some goals to work towards. Achieving something boosts self-esteem, no matter how small the achievement is.
- Challenge their negative thoughts. Ask them specifically what their negative voice is saying. Ask them if they would ever consider saying that to a friend. Often this helps to put into perspective how cruel they are being to themselves.
- Explore options with them. There are many useful resources to help people with low self-esteem, whether websites like Boost, books such as ‘Overcoming Low Self-esteem‘ or counselling. If low self-esteem is having a serious impact on their life and relationships, it is worth the money and time to start sorting it out properly.